


These Regrets We Share

by MissCrazyWriter321



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Background Riya and Garcy, Bonding, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post Season 2, growing closer, reference to canon character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 08:52:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16260824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissCrazyWriter321/pseuds/MissCrazyWriter321
Summary: "I did things. In Chinatown." Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him turn to face her, but she keeps her gaze fixed firmly ahead. "Bad things."It isn't really the way to start a conversation, but she doesn't have the energy for pleasantries, and he doesn't seem to, either."I hurt people," she continues, quieter. "Killed a few. To protect myself."





	These Regrets We Share

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AgentMaryMargaretSkitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/gifts).



> I needed to see Flynn and Jiya bonding, so I decided to make it happen. Garcy crept in, because they usually do when I'm writing these days. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas!

Jiya finds him sitting quietly on the couch, staring blankly at the television screen. It's a testament to his exhaustion, both physical and emotional, that he hasn't even bothered to turn it on. Heavy bags hang under his red-rimmed eyes, and she hesitates. The last thing she wants to do is intrude on someone else's grief.    
  
Just as she's about to walk away, he glances up at her. Blinks, as if she's the last person he'd expect to see, but gestures to the seat beside him nonetheless. Wordlessly, she takes it.    
  
Considers.    
  
She isn't quite sure where to start, but he doesn't push, just leans back and waits. Finally, she clears her throat.   
  
"I did things. In Chinatown." Out of the corner of her eye, she sees him turn to face her, but she keeps her gaze fixed firmly ahead. "Bad things."    
  
It isn't really the way to start a conversation, but she doesn't have the energy for pleasantries, and he doesn't seem to, either.    
  
"I hurt people," she continues, quieter. "Killed a few. To protect myself."    
  
"You did what you had to," he says, without a second's hesitation, and she laughs darkly.    
  
"Sure. That's what I told myself. But then I realized: That's probably what you said when you tried to have Rufus killed in the 30s. Right?"    
  
He flinches at the reminder, but she ignores that. After everything they've been through together, she has mostly forgiven him, but these are still things he did, and she won't try to dance around them.    
  
After a beat, he nods. "Yes," he admits softly.    
  
It's the answer she expects, but it still burns her, for a moment. Rufus flashes through her mind, dying in her arms. This is what Flynn wanted, right? And now they're just supposed to work with him, to trust him, to pretend like none of that happened? To pretend like he never-   
  
(But then again, she's the one who sought him out, not the other way around.)    
  
"How do you live with yourself?" It comes out a bit sharper than she intends, but she makes no move to apologize. It's an honest question; she can hardly stand to look at herself in the mirror.    
  
He seems to recognize it as such, because he doesn't take offense, just tilts his head to the side in consideration. "I've been a soldier since I was fifteen," he answers slowly. "A spy since before I met my wife. Hurting people, doing whatever it takes to complete the mission... That's been my whole life. It's all I've ever known." A ghost of a smile flickers on his face. "When I met Lorena, she was what kept me going. And when our little girl was born... Both of them."    
  
"And now?" She finally turns to him, but he avoids her eyes.    
  
"For awhile, it was stopping Rittenhouse. Saving my family."    
  
That's not what she asked. "But what about now?" A niggling suspicion knocks at the back of her mind, and she studies him curiously. There's a new sort of tension in him, as if he's half contemplating fleeing, and she frowns. "Well?"    
  
"I..." He swallows hard. Clears his throat. "Hope, I guess."    
  
"Hope in what?" She can't quite stifle her impatience.   
  
His gaze falls to his ring, and he twists it around his finger. For a long second, it seems like he might take it off, but then he lets go, turning back to her. "Hope in a future," he says finally. "Where all of this is over, and we're allowed to be happy again. As for what that looks like..." He shrugs. "We'll just have to wait and see."    
  
Was that helpful? She isn't sure, but the conviction in his words settles in her. Still... "And then what? You and I, we just... Live our lives, knowing the things we've done?"    
  
"Yes," he says, as if it's the simplest thing in the world. "It won't be easy, and we'll always have some regrets, but... We keep going." He hesitates. "Rufus will help you."    
  
_ Rufus.  _   
  
The name sends another wave of pain over her, but she grits her teeth, ignoring it. "So, you really believe we're going to get him back?" He's been hard to read, ever since copies of Lucy and Wyatt showed up, with an improved time-machine and a plan to break the first rule of time-travel.    
  
She can't help but wonder where his future self is, and why he didn't come back with them. Maybe Flynn-this Flynn-is doing the same thing.    
  
"I do." There's no hesitation in his words. "That's the one thing I know about all of this: Some how, some way, we'll save the people we love."    
  
It's like he's quoting a script. Or a journal, her mind points out. Rufus told her all about the book that once felt like a betrayal. It makes sense that Flynn would take so much hope from it. Maybe that's what he meant all along.    
  
"And then what?" Her voice sounds slightly hysterical, so she forces herself to calm. "I just tell him all these horrible things I've done, and he tells me it's fine? Rufus isn't like you, Flynn! He's completely innocent. He doesn't deserve any of this. He deserves..." Her voice catches. "Better. Than me."    
  
Now she's the one who can't meet his eyes, but she can feel him watching her all the same. Hears his sharp inhale, and knows her words have hit home. She wasn't trying to hurt him, but she knows she has. Maybe that's just the kind of person she is now.    
  
"Deserves better," he hums. "Maybe." Apparently, he isn't holding back either. It's oddly refreshing. "But... Rufus loves you. If he still wants to be with you, in spite of the things you've done... Would telling him no help anything? No. It would only hurt you both."    
  
There's something soft and wistful in his tone, but when she glances at him, his expression is steady. For a long moment, she considers letting the subject drop. He's had his say, and it's given her far more comfort than she expected. But something else tugs at her mind, and she can't quite bite back the words.    
  
"What if you get your wife back?" She forces herself to meet his eyes, to see the way he winces at the question. If she's doing this, she owes him that. "Would you be able to go back to her?"    
  
Silence.    
  
He coughs, once, eyes darting away.    
  
She waits.    
  
"I-no," he answers slowly, "But not because of the things I've done. Not anymore. I did feel that way, once, but… No." His eyes plead with her not to push farther, but she wants to, wants to know how far he's going to let her take this. (Maybe she just wants a fight. Three years of constant fighting, and she's forgotten how to have peace.)    
  
"Then why?"    
  
Before he can answer, footsteps alert her to a new figure heading to the couch: Lucy.    
  
The historian blinks at her for a moment, startled, and glances at Flynn curiously. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt."    
  
There's an odd note to her tone, something soft and uncertain. Flynn must hear it too, because he waves. "Jiya was just telling me about her stint in the past." A moment's hesitation, then- "I thought you were sleeping."    
  
He doesn't voice his concern, but anyone in the room can hear it, and Jiya blinks. Tries to process. Everything he's said comes together all at once, and disbelief washes over her.    
  
_ "Hope in a future."  _ __   
__   
_ "Deserves better."  _ __   
__   
_ "Not because of the things I've done."  _   
  
No way. Surely, she would have noticed something like this. (Of course, she's been a little preoccupied; between her visions and worrying about Rufus, she hasn't had much attention to spare. But still...)    
  
Lucy shifts a little. Avoids their eyes. "I couldn't sleep. But I should probably..."    
  
She was looking for Flynn, Jiya realizes. Seeking him out in her pain.    
  
"Actually-" She stands. As helpful as he’s been, he isn't who she really wants. She'd give anything to have Rufus by her side, but if she can't have that, at least she can give Flynn this gift. Can thank him for talking to her. "I was getting ready to call it a night."    
  
Lucy blinks, clearly taken aback, but accepts the silent invitation, sliding into the spot Jiya just abandoned. Flynn smiles briefly, in spite of everything. Moves an inch closer to her.    
  
And Jiya knows, beyond a shadow of a doubt.  
  
He must realize, a second later, because he turns from Lucy to Jiya, a sudden warning in his eyes. She nearly smiles, though she doesn't quite have the strength for it. Nods, in silent reassurance.  _ Yes, I know. No, I'm not going to say anything. Yes, you probably should.  _ __   
  
He shakes his head minutely, and she wants to groan, wants to throw everything he said about Rufus and her back in his face, before it hits her: He honestly doesn't think he stands a chance. Doesn't think that Lucy could ever possibly feel the same way about him.   
  
That is, if she cares to examine it, heartbreaking.    
  
There's a lot she wants to say, words that dance on the tip of her tongue. Rufus waited so long to tell her how he felt, and now, that time feels lost. Wasted.    
  
She would never wish that on anyone. Even Flynn. Especially Lucy.    
  
But Lucy shifts on the couch, her side pressed right up against Flynn's, and she tilts her head up to face him. Smiles once, weakly, and he smiles back. They're lost in each other, and Jiya strongly suspects that they've forgotten that she's there.    
  
Maybe, just maybe, they'll work things out on their own.   
  
She doesn't sleep peacefully that night; dreams of Rufus echo and clang, and when she wakes, she's even more exhausted than when she fell asleep. But when she stumbles out of her room, and finds Flynn and Lucy still curled up together on that couch, the latter sound asleep on the former's chest, something settles into her with bittersweet certainty.    
  
__ Decision made.   
  
If she ever gets Rufus back, she is never letting him go.

**Author's Note:**

> If we get a Season Three, can someone please get the Time Team a therapist? Please and thank you. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed!!


End file.
